Aino Minako-chan

I literally ran from my dinner when I heard the news so that I could post this as quickly as possible:

SMAP's Kusanagai Tsuyoshi was arrested for public indecency after apparently getting drunk and running around a public park naked.

I shouldn't laugh at someone getting arrested, but I find this to be absolutely hysterical. I'm in tears with laughter after hearing this news. This is the definition of LOLz.

On the minus side, this is Japan, not the States or Britain or somewhere (where this would just be a hilarious story to tell interviewers), and Tsuyoshi-kun's not just a normal celebrity, he's a JOHNNY'S, and therefore technically an idol, and therefore this looks like it's going to be a HUGE deal. There's already been an official statement from Johnny's stating that Tsuyoshi-kun has been temporarily suspended, no indication yet of when he'll be let back in. OH THE DRAMA.

• Hurray for "Letters from Iwo Jima", which won one of the 6 million awards that will be handed out to movies in the next few months. It's coming out to Japan this weekend, so there's a high probability that I will drag John out with me. Over here, they keep talking about how Nino is really good and how he might even get nominated for an award of some sort. I just have to say that if Nino gets nominated for an Oscar? I will laugh until tears run down my face. I mean, I'd be glad for him, go-go Johnny's power and all, but you'd have to admit, that'd be hysterical. I still giggle when I remember Nino's face at the Tokyo Film Festival when he accidentally invited Clint Eastwood to an Arashi concert.  Clint was kinda like, "Oh, I'd love to see little Nino on stage." And then Nino kinda looked panicked. Good times.
  
• My job sometimes makes me laugh. Last week-ish, I translated this customer support FAQ for Camera Company Z. So I translated it, and they sent it back today with some revisions. Interestingly enough, every single revision is wrong. So basically, I've been going through and rewriting their rewrites, or sometimes just plain changing things back to the way I translated it. I'm not a nice enough person, so I will completely say that this makes me laugh. (Well, I mean, c'mon, you're paying me for a reason. Let me do my job.)
  
  One of the biggest problems comes with the word 撮影 (satsuei). It seems like a simple enough translation at first. As a verb, it can mean something like "to take a picture" or "to shoot a photograph" or "to film something". Which seems simple and direct enough at first, but it's really not. First, the verb "to shoot" has various meanings that the Japanese employees at Company Z don't seem to understand, and although it's a camera FAQ and everyone understands the context, you'd probably still like to stay away from sentences like, "I want to shoot a stage from above." Not wrong, persay, but isn't the longer option "take a photograph of" much nicer and un-sniper-y? Second, someone at Company Z is apparently allergic to the word "photograph" (is it because it's a digital camera? they still take stupid photographs; get over it!). Which is fine, really, except that they replaced half of my "photograph"s with "shoots", so I ended up with sentences like, "I want to add the date to a shoots" or "How do I take shoots with manual focus?" Yeah... I just switched it back.
  
• Finally, a list of really random links that I found amusing:
• Six-word sci-fi stories
  Hemingway's six-word story is still the best, and many of the authors have six-word comments, not six-word stories, but there are still some amusing ones.
• Bad English subtitles in Hong Kong films
  They make me laugh. 11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
• Bad English mistranslations
  Part of me feels bad because I totally know what these translators must have gone through, and because, for the most part, I can see where they went wrong. Having said that, it's really really funny:
  From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

I've been extremely busy lately doing, well, absolutely nothing. It's basically been a mix of eating, sleeping, working, playing video games, shopping, and watching movies. That's it. Surprisingly, it's been strangely satisfying: busy, but relaxing at the same time. Unfortunately, it's also really quite dull to write about in livejournal. Therefore, I have decided to summarize the past 2 weeks or so in the following manner:

( The Minako-chan Countdown!! )

I'm the worst daughter, ever. I totally forgot my mommy's birthday. And if I forgot my mom's birthday, then I totally forgot my brother-in-laws' birthdays last month. What the hell is wrong with me? (T_T) Anyway, in honor of a long Golden Week vacation for me, I've got another long post today filled with things that make my fangirl heart happy.

Freedom Project
Do you like Cup Noodle? Do you like the anime Akira? Do you like Utada Hikaru? Have you ever wished that Kaneda would sell you Cup Noodle while Utada Hikaru sang to you? Then I've got the ultimate advertising campaign for you: freedom-project.jp!!! Okay, so it's not technically Kaneda, but it is Otomo Katsuhiro, so it ends up being the story of Not-Kaneda as he races his Not-motorcycle to freedom and eats Cup Noodle. I am not ashamed to admit that I'm totally in love with this advertising campaign. It has not convinced me to eat more Cup Noodle (yet), but it did nearly make me walk into a pole in the middle of Shinjuku station when the posters first went up. "Kaneda-kun!" I shrieked. "Cup Noodle!" Seriously, there's a lot of fun stuff at the web site, so check it out.

Tokimeki Memorial Girl's Side 2nd Kiss
I realize this is important information to exactly one person out there (Minako-chan waves to kinomakoto), but there's a sequal to Tokimeki Memorial Girl's Side coming out in August. HURRAY!!!! You have no idea how ecstatically happy this makes me. Check out the web site here. Who should I woo first? Oh, the excitement!!

And finally, for V6 fans, "Hold Up Down"!
( Because every V6 movie needs a frozen Jesus. )

Oh, and since I mentioned it yesterday, has anyone out there played (or started playing) Final Fantasy XII? I'm slowly but surely gaining levels and merrily slashing my way through the game, but I've got a question: Has anyone found any use for Levitega? It's a type of magic that just makes you float a couple inches off the ground. But.... WHY? It was easier with "Float" magic in FFVIII; people literally ran around screaming, "FLOAT!!! USE FLOAT!!!!" So what does Levitega do? No idea.

Just some quick movie news: Have your heard about Clint Eastwood's latest film endeavor, about Iwa Jima? Five second summary: It's about Iwo Jima, AND it's two movies in one: the first movie is from the American side, while the second movie is from the Japanese side. Anyway, the cast for the Japanese movie has been announced, and it includes Hollywood's favorite Watanabe Ken, Minako-chan's best reason to watch Kabuki (although I haven't seen a single one of his movies, either) Nakamura Shido, and Arashi's own Ninomiya Kazunari. Nino!! Good for you!! Johnny's on the international scene!! So proud!

In a computer update, Dell finally agreed with me that Npyu2's DVD drive screwed up, and they're sending me a new one. Wai! In a gaming update, one week until FFXII. Doki-doki! I'm still trying to figure out if I should buy the "Potion" drinks they're selling in convenience stores. On one hand, weirdest product tie-in EVER. On the other hand, the commercial for Potion is very cute. (Let's just say that it involves a battle in the middle of a convenience store for the last Potion... and when I say "battle", I of course mean the kind where the woman pulls off a massive Thundaga.)

Those wacky wacky idols. When will they every learn? With two of the original eight members on probation for underaged drinking, NEWS will go on indefinite hiatus after their tour is over, and the members will go on to do solo projects. In other words, Yama-p will continue to do decent work, and the poor other guys will flounder in the background of Johnny's musicals. But it's not just Johnny's anymore. The morning news announced that a Hello Project girl has been put on probation when she was caught smoking in public. The news didn't release a name since she's a minor, but they said the girl was underaged, used to be in Morning Musume, and is currently working in another Hello Project group. Now, unless I missed something, that leaves... Kago or Tsuji in W, right? Poor things. They're really cute, in an annoying sort of way.

Anyway, there've been a lot of songs that I'm loving right now, so I thought I'd share:

I believe is an incredible debut song by the young singer/songwriter Ayaka. It's gained a lot of attention partially because it's the theme song to a popular TV drama, and partially because Ayaka has amazing talent. Her voice is very powerful and she does an amazing job performing this powerhouse ballad. HIGHLY recommended.

Yui is an excellent young singer/songwriter of a different brand. While Ayaka's voice is powerful, Yui's voice is pure and sweet. Yui is almost always pictured with an acoustic guitar, and many of her songs have a simple guitar base. You can imagine Yui practicing on street corners or in small clubs. I'm personally a huge fan on her single Tokyo.

ENDLICHERI*ENDLICHERI is the name of the new project by KinKi Kids' Dohmoto Tsuyoshi. (FYI, it's the name of a fish, a very very ugly fish.) Tsuyoshi-kun said that the name change comes from a desire to do different types of songs, with focus on the lyrics. I love Tsuyoshi-kun, so I pick up most everything he produces, so of course I rushed to rent Someiyoshino (a type of cherry blossom). But the real reason I adored the song was the adorable story Tsuyoshi-kun told before his performance last week on Music Station. He commented that this is a song to (about) his mother. Every year, he goes on a hanami with his mother, and he says it's a time to reflect on life. He starts thinking, "Wow, my mom looks older", which leads him to think "Huh, I've gotten older, too". Tsuyoshi-kun went on to describe how it was the middle of the night at the recording studio when he was going to record this song, and he decided to quickly email his mom first. He just sent her a note saying, "That you for giving me life; thank you for giving birth to me." It was quite touching and serious. So much so, that the Music Station host Tamori looked like he didn't know what to do next. Long story short, sweet song.

Finally, the first major Japanese mash-up has me addicted. Combine the theme song from "Kill Bill" and a fairly mellow rap song and what do you get? Battle Funktastic from Hotei vs Rip Slyme. I'm actually not a huge fan of Rip Slyme as far as Japanese rap goes. Their melodies are a bit too mellow for me, and I always feel like they end up sounding like kiddie songs with the repetition and simple tunes. (Although, I will admit that these are the exact qualities that make the songs crack candy that simply won't leave your head.) So what better way to jazz up a Rip Slyme song, than to infuse it with some Hotei Tomoyasu-brand electric guitar? Turns out, this is the perfect solution.

Just a collection of some random entertainment thoughts and tidbits.

Kawamura Ryuichi (former lead singer of Luna Sea and current lead singer of Tourbillion) got married about a week ago to a former Miss Japan. That's right, Ryuichi-san is finally off the market. And with a Miss Japan... that's just such a wonderfully appropriate ending (or beginning) to the Ryuichi-san story. I plan on celebrating his marriage by buying the Tourbillion CD. Because it's Ryuichi-san! And Inoran! And... Hayama-kun!

NEWS has lost yet another member due to underage drinking. No, seriously. The first incident was a rather big deal, with everyone talking about how an older female news announcer got an underaged member of NEWS plastered (oh, like you've never thought of it...). Now, apparently, a completely different member got himself wasted in public. I'm not sure which member it is (not that it matters, because I don't know the NEWS members anyway), but in the past week, about three NEWS members had big press conferences announcing that they were accepted into prestigious private universities, and the news article I read implied that it was one of them. Well... now he can concentrate on his studies. And, er... yeah.

In completely unrelated news, KAT-TUN is finally making their CD debut, 5 years of sold-out concert tours and best-selling concert DVDs after they were first formed. Yes, I'll be buying their debut album. Yes, you are all allowed to mock at will. In my own defense, at least none of THEM have been stupid enough to wander around pissed in public.

Finally, the Oscars are coming up, and I'm feeling rather blase about it. On one hand, this is the first Oscars in YEARS where I haven't felt seething hatred for one of the nominees. (Ah, I still fondly remember the year of "You people don't want to know what I'll do if Russell Crowe wins another freaking Oscar.") On the other hand, I've also seen a whopping 0 of the films nominated for the big awards, and actually scarily few even including the minor ones, so I really have nothing to root for. Having said that, I'm rather proud of the nominees for best animated film: Corpse Bride, Wallace & Gromitt, and Howl's Moving Castle. Puppet stop-motion animation, clay stop-motion animation, and hand drawing. Take that, Madagascar! Bite me, Chicken Little! To all those morons who mistakenly believe that old-school animation is dead and computer animation is the only way to go, I laugh in your faces. People didn't start liking Pixar better than Disney because Pixar was computer animated. People liked Pixar better because the stories were good, the characters were engaging, and none of the plots ever involved a prince getting turned into a llama. Anyway, I'm personally cheering for all three of the animated films and I look forward to seeing all of the other nominated films some day before I die.

Takizawa Hideaki of Tackey & Tsubasa can sing. He can dance. He can act, draw crowds, complete any physical task set before him, and do it all while looking ridiculously good. So, is there anything he can't do? Apparently, yes. As seen on tonight's episode of "Hey Hey Hey Music Champ", Tackey cannot draw to save his life.

( Here is Tackey's rendition of a lion. )
I honestly laughed so hard that I cried.

I spent New Year's Eve with johnabe, eating dinner and watching music programs on TV. We started with the annual Kouhaku music battle, and went into the Johnny's countdown special.

Since kinomakoto asked, the white team (men's team) won the Kouhaku. It was the usual mix of pop songs, enka, and random tributes that made no sense whatsoever. (For example, they did a series of famous 80's idol tunes, then ended the montage with SMAP coming on stage while O-Zone's "Dragostea Din Tei" played in the background. I've never seen KimuTaku so confused. SMAP obviously had no idea what the hell was going on, either. The Gorie performance was simple amazing; the entire stage was covered in about 100 cheerleaders in glittery, colorful uniforms, dancing in perfect unison. (Gorie competed for the red (women's) team, btw.) The vocal performances of the night were, as could probably be expected, from Dreams Come True and Porno Graffitti. I got a little bit choked up listened to Miwa-san and Akihito-san. But my personal favorite performance had to go to T.M.Revolution, who showed up in a white furry outfit on top of a crane, belting "White Breath" with Darth Vader and a bunch of Stormtroopers wandering in the background. He sounded great, he looked great, and Darth Vader just made me laugh. "What's with the Star Wars theme!?" I thought to myself. And then I remembered that TMR has multiple Stormtrooper-esque outfits and also has an entire album entitled "The Force". "Oh, right, he's a big fan."

And although John was slightly less than amused, I liked the Johnny's countdown special. 101 Johnny's all on one stage! They just kept on coming out of the woodwork.

John: [watching V6 perform] Wow, I actually know all of these songs. This is all your fault.

Can't get enough Johnny's.

But the true highlight of my New Year's was this morning. Four words for you: New Year's Day Sales. I admittedly went a little nuts buying all sorts of stuff, but the sales were amazing! Plus, basically every store had a grab bag deal going on. You had no idea what you were going to get, but you were guaranteed a huge deal. Probably the smartest move I made was limiting the amount of money that I was carrying with me. I gave myself a set limit and went off for the day at 10:00, with the goal of buying a long skirt, some socks, and maybe some boots or a hat. I came back three hours later with the following:

- A long brown velvet and lace skirt.
- A long tan faux suede-y skirt.
- A black top.
- Two pairs of tights and a pair of socks.
- A white hat.
- White boots.
- Pretty pink bra.
- Rose shaped earrings.
- Jewelry grab bag (filled with a ring, a necklace, a charm bracelet, an extra charm, and a pair of earrings).
- A clothing grab bag (filled with short purple pants [too small, but I figured they would be], a fluffy blue top [too not my style], a jean jacket [tad snug, but works well open], a dark gray tube top [perfect!], and a black shirt [also great!].
- 547 yen.

(lol) Seriously, I had to bring out the calculator to work out if I could afford the underwear AND the boots. Luckily, I didn't have to choose. ^_^

[Warning: The following LJ entry is a joint production from "Minako-chan, the Screaming Fangirl" and "Minako-chan, the Musical Whore". Squeals and giggles are likely. Be forewarned.]

( So, last night I went to see Sakamoto-kun in 'The Boy from Oz'. )

Okay, so as I mentioned before, Toni-Cen are all starring in Broadway shows this summer: Inocchi & Nagano in "The Producers", and Sakamoto-kun in "Boy From Oz". "The Producers" sounded like fun, but I was absolutely DYING to see Sakamoto-kun. Unfortunately, by the time I thought, "Hey, I should maybe get tickets before I get all excited," it was sold out. ;_; But then I saw Sakamoto-kun on a quiz show last night (his team won in a mighty comeback the last round... HURRAY~!), and Toni-Cen were on the news this morning, and I decided that I simply HAD to see "Boy From Oz".

So before checking auction web sites online, I decided to check Lawson's Ticket one last time during lunch today, just to double-check that all of the weekend shows were sold out. That's when I realized something: WeekDAY shows include a 12:30 matinee, and a 6:30 night show. Although I normally work until about 7, work technically gets out at 6. The show is being held at Aoyama Theater, which is less than half an hour from my station (including walking times). So I suddenly thought to myself, "My god, I should check the weekday tickets." Low and behold, Minako-chan is now going to "Boy From Oz" next Thursday. Excuse me while I scream.

Well, I was -supposed- to hang with my former host family this weekend, but it turns out that Naomi-san is working until 10 every night and working overtime over the holidays (damn Disney slave drivers) and family from Osaka is coming in and getting checked into the hospital or something or other... Long story short, didn't see them. Which is too bad, but in all practicality, probably better in the long run since I still need to write a paper and do last minute shopping and start packing and all. I feel like such a part of the family and all, though; Grandma chides me in Japanese for not calling sooner. "Dude, you people had my cell phone number, too," I want to remind her, but that would only get her on Naomi-san's case more and I think she's busy and stressed enough as it is. It's not easy being a single mother anywhere, but the long hours she's expected to put in while in Japan sure don't make things any easier.

While at home, though, I spent my Friday watching the drama "Neverland" for the first time. I hadn't watched it before since it seemed to be a Johnny's related schoolboy drama. The star is Imai Tsubasa (formerly of Johnny's Jr) with Miyake Ken of V6. Plus one of the other boys in the series is also from Johnny's Jr. Now, as much as I love V6 and Ken-chan, it just looked kinda cheesy. As it turned out, though, it's damned cool. I thought it was just schoolboy drama. As it turns out, it's a psychological schoolboy dorm drama. It's basically the story of these 5 guys who live in the dorm together and have to put up with each other. As it turns out, they all have these sorta hidden traumas in their lives and with the 5 boys at the dorm getting close, they have to deal with these things coming out in the open. Tsubasa-kun plays Yoshikuni, the star. Apparently when he was little, a woman (his father's second wife? mistress?) went wiggy, led him into the forest, and tried to strangle him to death. She didn't succeed, but managed to poke two holes in his neck from her fingernails. His mom got furious and refused to ever forgive the dad, and Yoshikuni still has nightmares fairly regularly about this. Then there's little cute underclassman. He's really button down, vest kinda kid and really sweet and gentle. He has heart problems, which doesn't bode well for him. The thing is, he's got this... thing for Yoshikuni-senpai. Like, his hobby is photography. So his ENTIRE dorm room is COVERED with black and white pictures that he's taken of Yoshikuni-senpai. And like, he keeps another stack in a box that he can take out and look at. I really don't know WHY he's so obsessed with Yoshikuni-senpai, but I just get this feeling from the series that it's not just underclassman's crush. Then there's the other Johnny's Jr guy, who plays Shinohara, the wacky wacky kansai kid. I barely understand a word he says and he always goes off in normal, stereotypical kansai fashion. His thing is that his parents got divorced when he was young and then proceeded to completely ignore him. He got really touched when he walked out during dinner, then discovered that the other guys had kept his portion warm until he came in again. He couldn't believe that someone would do something as kind as simply reheat his dinner. The one guy who barely showed up in the episode I don't really understand. He's suuuuuuuuuper genki. Even when things are bad, he seems to be the type who deals with bad things by just getting happier. Apparently his thing is that he things he killed his mom. Don't know the specifics, but the flashes of memory show mommy lying dead next to the bathtub and a plugged in hairdryer. So presumably, it's HIS hairdryer and that's why he's traumatized. The big story of the episode was Ken-chan's character. He lives with his psycho mom (who does stuff like call his cell phone while drunk and creepily insist that he needs to listen to his mother or else bad things happen) who invites them all over for a BBQ. There, she basically ignores her son and latches onto Yoshikuni, trying to figure out what Ken-chan's like at school. Shinohara is wandering around the giant mansion in normal kansai fashion before he asks what happened to Ken-chan's dad. The mom simply smiles brightly and says, "Oh, didn't you know? Suicide." She then proceeds to tell them that when Ken-chan was 13, his dad committed suicide with his lover, leaving his wife and his lover's son behind. Yup, Mommy is the wife, and Ken-chan is just the lover's kid. It was actually an amazing scene, really intense, and made me so proud of Johnny's power. ^_^ Anyway, now that I've actually discovered the series, I'm ticked that I'm heading home before it ends. Ahhhhh, pray to the TV gods that my Japanese grocery store will carry it...

Friday night: I'm writing too many posts; I'm running out of titles. BTW, I -know- I'm posting them all in one day, but I didn't write them like that, I swear. I just have irregular internet access...

Anyway, Friday was another wonderful night of watching my taped Music Station. First up was Dicot with "A*I*TSU." I really like them and that song. It's just so upbeat and hyper-active. I really adore them. Ooooo, Spitz's single "Haruka" made it up to #3. Yeaaaaaaaay~! I love that song. And EE JUMP made it on the Top 10. Looks like they won't been thrown onto the street after all. Hirai Ken was the second act with "Kiss of Life." Personally, I liked the song when I heard it on TV, which was a first for me since I really haven't liked any of his songs thus far. But then I heard it live... nope, I just don't like Hirai Ken. Sorry, Hirai-san. Dicot was all excited though. Apparently Hirai-san used to go to the convienience store where one of the Dicot girls worked, so she talked about how often she saw him and she rang up his bento TWICE. Next up was EE JUMP. They still did their exact same super-giant production number. It was even funnier on the Music Station stage. You could see all of the other guests in the background as they go into the whole thing that involved balloons, explosions, and a stage full of carnival dancers. The other guests looked mainly confused. Well, no, Tube seemed fairly amused. It had to be the biggest production number I've seen on Music Station. Such is the power of Tsunku... After them was... KinKi Kids~! With "Jounetsu~!" @_@ They're quite funny in interview actually, so I like them. Ahhhh, I just figured out why I love "Jounetsu" so much, though. I have a weak spot for any songs with Spanish or acoustic guitar. I don't know why, it's just this thing I have. It's the same thing I have for 3/4 time signatures. I don't get it either, but in any case, "Jounetsu" has Spanish guitar. @_@ I'm lost... In any case, KinKi Kids is, of COURSE, followed by the JESD (Johnny's Entertainment Shotacon Dancers(tm)). At first, I was quite relieved. Sure they were still there, but at least they were wearing full long sleeved jackets (zipped up) over their pants. After the first verse, their zipper got unzipped. I started getting worried, but at least they were wearing something under their jackets. Yup, you guessed it. A chorus later, they lost the jackets and unzipped their vests. Yuuuuuuuup, THAT'S the JESD for ya. And let me tell you, the attractiveness of shirtless, toothpick gakis actually manages to get LOWER once they start doing body rolls which cause their ribs to stick out like a starving child. Yeeees, now THAT makes me want to see your live. If you can say anything about them, they're not COMPLETELY talentless dancers. I mean, they can all pull off some sort of double spin of some sort. And they're not ALL citizens of the rhythmless nation. Good for you, little strange stick children~! Johnny's Entertainment is sooooooo weird... Next was Tube. It's their first time on Music Station in like 5 years apparently, so they showed all of Tube's appearances since their debut on Music Station in 1986. It was pretty funny; Tube kept going off about how they didn't remember a thing. But the best part had to be that one of their appearances involved a stage full of carnival dancers. It looked exactly like EE JUMP. Talk about weird. Their song is pretty good, actually. I respect Tube greatly, even if their style isn't my favorite. Finally, Kiyotaka, I believe his name is. He's this young Japanese guy who's setting out to become the King of Japanese R&B. Well, currently the title is being held by Hirai-san, so he's got some competition. The thing that Kiyotaka has working for him: He has a range like no other. Seriously, he gives Mariah Carey a run for her money. And yes, Kiyotaka's male. I've NEVER heard a falsetto that can do that; I don't even know what it's called when a male voice gets that high. Well, gets that high and isn't scary like that Cirque du Soleil guy. I'm concerned for his voice, of course. That's what I ALWAYS say when I hear a talented singer who can do stuff like that. Basically because pop music can really do a number to your voice if you don't take care of yourself, and it worries me that people with real talent might end up busting something the wrong way. And that would just be a waste. T_T Next week will be my heaven, though. Some other random people, plus KinKi Kids, Surface, and... GACKT~! @_@ He's touring so I don't know why he's coming on Music Station, but, like I care, it's GACKT~! I wonder what he'll perform. He performed his latest single like two months ago when it came out. Maybe he'll perform something from his album then. @_@ "PAPA LAPPED A PAP LOPPED" ALL THE WAY, BABY~! man, i adore that song... @_@

My last entry for a while. Headed to Korea. Yeay~! I'm actually strangely not as excited about it as I thought I'd be. I was, but then everyone tried to get us hyped by announcing all the things that'll be wonderful about the trip, stuff like, "It's giant portions of food~!" (looking ill) "And tons of meat meat meat~!" (looking extremely ill) "And we'll give you the nights off so you can relax and go drinking~!" (waving a little 'this is me being excited' flag) Okay, so not precisely, but you get my drift. I suppose I should just accept the fact that I'm not a normal American college student and all, but still...

I've been promising this rant to Mako-chan for a long time now, so finally I feel like I should say something about it. In Japan, there's really no way to get away from Johnny's Entertainment. They produce basically EVERY singing/dancing/acting boys idol groups in Japan, including SMAP, KinKi Kids, Johnny's Jr, Arashi, V6, and a bunch of others including some that have already faded into the past (Hikari Genji for example...). You can always recognize a JE band: they're full of cute young guys who can do everything from cook filet mignon to skydive to tango, they produce major selling song/dance hits that sends the girls screaming, and they're almost always followed by the group that I call the Johnny's Entertainment Shotacon Dancers(tm). And THIS is where it gets a little worrying.

More than a little worrying, it's just plain scary. The JESD seems to be a bunch of boys, ages probably 10-16ish, who crowd behind the act on stage and dance around with their shirts open. There's even one, my personal favorite of everyone there, who does nothing but rollerskate around with his shirt open. I can't stop laughing whenever I see him. It's just soooo absurd. But getting back to my rant, that's the exact problem. I have absolutely no idea why it's necessary for a bunch of prepubescent gakis to be running around shirtless on stage. Is it supposed to be sexy? Are girls supposed to swoon? I don't know about anyone else, but my first thought when I see the JESD isn't "Hellloooooo, shirtless 12-year old" but "Dear GOD someone give that boy a sweatshirt and call his mom~!" It's just rather WEIRD after a while, and you start to wonder who they're trying to appeal to. I mean, I can't imagine those kids are supposed to be there to attract pretty much anyone older than them, which basically puts them at, what, increasing the junior high and elementary school fan following? Even if you accept the fact that there's dancing around for show and all, is it REALLY necessary to constantly have them in open shirts? Those poor things must get cold...

Of course, along the same lines, I wonder if I should spend so much time worrying about the JESD when all of Morning Musume is younger than me, the youngest, Tsuji-chan and Kago-chan being 12. Part of me say that THEY bound around and make millions while singing "Ren'ai Revolution 21" and "Jan Ken Pyon" while in cute little skirts or shorts. Somehow there's still a difference to me, however. It's somehow different to have Kago-chan in shorts singing "Jan Ken Pyon" for a stadium full of fans then to have the JESD dancing behind the KinKi Kids during "Jounetsu" while that one guy skates by. It's almost surreal, it's so odd. I think that Johnny's Entertainment is one part of the Japanese music community that I will never understand. They're just really scary and weird... Ugh.

Ha-ha, John. Show YOU I'm not of superior intelligence...