Aino Minako-chan

Calling anime fans!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:19:46 GMT

Question for work (and I am unfortunately not even kidding you, this is actually for work):

What anime, manga, or cosplay-related sites (informational or sales related) that are only available in Japanese would you like to see in English? (Or any similar sites that just have, say, an incomprehensible English HP would be fine, too.)

(No seriously, this is for work. Don't ask.)

Reading with Minako-chan 2009: 2 B or not 2 B

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:50:49 GMT

Wow, I haven't talked about my books in a very long time, but I swear that I'm still reading! Honest! Here's a roundup, homefully without leaving anything out...

(7) The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
What a fascinating story. The Book Thief tells the tale of young Liesel during the Holocaust, as told by Death. It's apparently meant for young adults, so it's a relatively quick and easy read, but it's also a story set in the Holocaust, making it really dark and gut-wrenching in parts. The mixture of humor, melancholy, and poetic prose is wonderful. I can't praise it enough. Definitely a recommended read for most everyone.

(8) Victory of Eagles by Naomi Novik
Disclaimer: I'm a big fan of the Temeraire series, so I was hugely excited to read this, the 5th book in the series. This is the "Britain in the Napoleonic Wars, but with DRAGONS!" series that I love so much. For those who follow the series, this is, in many ways, a simpler book that sets aside the globe-trotting for battles in England and lots of interaction between Temeraire and a wide cast of hysterically awesome dragons. A great addition to the Temeraire series.

(9) Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman
Dr. Impossible breaks out of prison. Corefire, invincible leader of the Champions, is missing. In alternating POVs between Dr. Impossible and Fatale, the bionic woman and new member of the Champions, this funny and enthralling book tells the intersecting tale of Dr. Impossible's plto and the Champions' quest. It somehow manages to feel both real and fanciful at the same time while keeping you on your toes with an engrossing plot. I liked how, unlike many modern superhero novels I've read recently, this novel isn't a parody, nor does it feel like it's forcing itself to be "new". It's a straight-out superhero novel, and yet, it manages to be more relatable and relavent than most anything else that I've read recently. In short, I really enjoyed this book and am only sad that I can't find more like it. A wonderful, wonderful superhero novel.

(10) Interworld by Neil Gaiman and Michael Reaves
I almost feel bad for saying this, but OMG I hated this book. No, I seriously HATED it. The overall premise behind the book is fascinating: Joey Harker, normal teenager, turns out to have the power to Walk through time and space into alternate universes, and by doing so, gets caught up in a conflict between magic and science and joins up with a secret group of Walkers, all versions of Joey from different universes. (There's robot Joey and girl Joey and big Joey from the dense Earth and Joey with fairy wings... it's pretty fun.) Unfortunately... that pretty much summarizes all that's good with the book. The original Joey Harker is boring. His journey to becoming Mr. Awesome Hero Man is unrealistic, trite, and completely unsympathetic. The relationships are forced and don't make any sense. The conflict between the evil magic group and the evil science group is far from fleshed out, with the evil science group appearing in, unfortunately not even kidding you, only one very short scene. About the only character who I actually liked was Hue, the alien blob. The book ends with a big, Hollywood movie, "just wait for the sequal!!" scene, meaning that the book just feels frightfully unfinished. Gaiman and Reaves apparently wrote the book years ago with no intention of publishing it; they were actually trying to develop a TV series around the premise. And let me tell you, it SHOWS. Unfinished, forced, and not very fun, this really should have been left in the bottom of someone's drawer. Calling all Neil Gaiman fans: Stay away. Stay faaaar away.

(11) Storm Front by Jim Butcher
Harry is a wizard. No, I mean the other Harry, Harry Dresden. He's a professional working wizard in an alternate Earth where magic is common and starting to even become accepted. But don't let the magic fool you. The magic is really just a shiny cover over a good, old-fashioned detective novel. Harry is the hero, barely scraping by between clients and consulting jobs with his frienemy, a police detective with a reputation on the rocks thanks to her belief in Harry. Add in a murder, a mysterious job request from a beautiful woman, a sexy journalist with moxy, prostitutes and the mob... No seriously, it's a rather sterotypical film noir detective story. Parts of it make me want to quote ANOTHER Harry, Harry Lockhart: "Your case, and my case, they're the same case!" (Yes, this is technically a spoiler. But in my defense, it's super obvious to anyone who's even heard of the detective genre before.) On the minus side, it's a rather paint-by-numbers plot and Harry (Dresden) has... quaint views about women. But on the other hand, it's a fun story, and the shiny gloss of the supernatural really does make everything look nicer. This is the first book in the Dresden Files series, and I think I liked the story enough to check out a few more books. To put it in mathematical form: Harry Potter + Harry Lockhart = Harry Dresden.

(12) The Late Hector Kipling by David Thewlis
First thing's first: yes, the author is David Thewlis. Yes, that David Thewlis. Having gotten THAT out of the way, the story. This is one weird, surreal, funny book, and admittedly not everyone will like it. It centers around Hector Kipling, a self-centered modern artist, and his life as Hectory contemplates love, death, and why people don't think he's awesomer. It drags a bit in parts, but it's really quite funny in an odd sort of way, but probably only if you're the type to laugh at parody of modern art. Hector only draws giant, distorted faces. One of his close friends only paints silverware. Another does bigger pieces, like a motorized hearse chasing a motorized baby carriage on a track. It loses something in retelling, but seriously, if you don't find this funny, you won't like the book. But to everyone else, I'd recommend it. Where else do you get to laugh at sadomasochism? A bit slow in parts, but over all very quirky and quite funny for a slightly surreal read.

FYI, I got a Kindle as an early birthday present, and it's actually perfect for me, because A) I honestly don't have room for any more paperbacks in my little Tokyo apartment, and B) when you take into consideration shipping costs and general markups added to English books is Japan, Kindle prices are honestly a good deal. Plus, it's much easier to cart on the train! I'm honestly not sure if I'd use it if I still lived in the States, but in Japan, it's really great.

Organ Transplant Debate

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:55:51 GMT

For those who are curious, the Japanese parliament is currently starting its debate on reforms to the current organ transplant law (concerning deceased donors). The main catalysts for this change are a combination of A) problems with the current law, especially with the fact that donors must be 15+ years old, thus essentially making transplants for children illegal, and B) changes to WHO rules on transplants in foreign countries (in order to combat the concern of "transplantion tourism" as far as I can tell). I'm not an expert on transplants by any means (although I know people who are!), but it's an interesting debate in Japan, and I'll try to summarize it here.

Current situation and problems
Probably the two most controversial questions concern brain death and age limits. In general, brain death seems to be a controversial topic in Japan. Currently, brain death can only be considered as death if A) the person in question has a written donor card/document that states their desire to take brain death as death, and B) if the family also agrees. Instead, death is usually defined as no respiration, no heart beat, and no response to light (pupil response).

The other big controversy involves the age limits. The laws require consent from the donor, but the laws also don't believe that children (or young teens, apparently) are able to fully give consent. Therefore, donors must be 15 or older. The problem then comes from the fact that young children can't be given adult organs. So what currently happens to kids in need of transplants? Well, they currently have two options: A) hang on until you're a teenager and big enough to accept donor organs, or B) raise all of the money that they need to move to another country (usually the U.S.) and get a transplant there. Of course, with the new WHO rules, option B is essentially cut off for these kids, meaning that just have to suck it up and try not to die. Go go Japan. >_<

Four (!!) possibilities
And so, the parliament has started debating a new organ transplant law. There are four plans, summarized (and simplified) in the table below:

(FYI, for those who read Japanese, the following link goes to a PDF with a more detailed comparison chart between the current law, the four plans, and WHO guidelines: http://www.asas.or.jp/jst/pdf/plan_abcd.pdf)

	Plan A	Plan B	Plan C	Plan D
Brain death	Used (although the donor/family can opt out)	Preapproval from the donor + family approval	Preapproval from the donor + family approval (but with a stricter definition of brain death)	1) 15 and up: Preapproval from the donor + family approval 2) Under 15: Just family approval
Age limit	None	12+	15+	None (but different rules depending on age)
Required approval	Donor+family, or just family	Donor+family	Donor+family	1) 15 and up: Donor+family, 2) Under 15: Family

All of the plans also use the "no respiration, no heartbeat, no reaction" method of determining death. I don't know what sort of difference this actually makes to organ transplants (again, not an expert!) but from the direction of the debates, I assume that including brain death (greatly?) increases the number of viable transplant organs.

The parliament is debating these plans in a slightly odd way: They're first debating just whether to approve Plan A, and if it gets voted down, they're moving on to Plan B, and so forth. As far as I can tell, it makes it more likely that Plan D would be adopted, if only as the last resort, but oh well.

Plan A is the most changed, with the removed age limits and the elimination of written consent requirement for consideration of brain death, making brain death opt out as opposed to opt in. This would probably make the most difference in the transplant situation in Japan; most people, even if they're 100% A-okay with organ transplants and brain death, may not go through the trouble of making sure that they have filled out legal consent forms. This is probably especially the case for teens. How many 15 year olds do you know who have or would go through the trouble of filling out organ donation cards in the face of brain death?

Plan B is barely changed, with just a minor lowering of the age limit (so now you can technically donate from 12 year olds who haven't filled out forms), and Plan C is the weirdest in my option, as it's actually in many ways stricter than the current laws. Because the problem with organ donation and transplants in Japan is that the rules aren't strict ENOUGH.

Plan D is what I think of as the compromise plan, probably somewhere between A and B in terms of strictness, essentially eliminating restrictions on child donors. However, due to the requirement of written approval to consider brain death beforehand, Plan D looks like it could ironically be more difficult to get adult donors. (More difficult as compared to Plan A or even compared to child donors, not compared to the current situation, which is essentially unchanged.) Like Plans B-C, Plan D is essentially opt in for potential donors 15 and up. While technically opt in for all ages, at least family can give approval on behalf of younger potential donors, which makes a difference as it's rather difficult for an adult to opt in once he/she is brain dead.

In general, I think that most people would agree that little kids deserve a chance to get an organ transplants, but the problem comes from the idea of child donors. Some people seem hesitant to donate from people who haven't given explicit consent, even if their family agrees to the donation, and at the same time also believe that children are incapable of giving consent. I completely understand the desire to protect the donor, but at the same time, you're essentially screwing over small children. If the surviving family is a-okay with donation, then what's the problem?

(And in a slight change of topic) Brain death
The morning news did a piece on the brain death part of the controversy, and I must admit that I thought it was a bit creepy. They introduced a woman and her 8-year-old son. The son has been brain dead for 7 years, and (this is actually what the news said) is currently in the 4th grade. (No, I have NO idea how this works. They said it was a "special" school, but I really can't even fathom what this school is doing.) The woman was watching the debates in opposition of Plan A, as she felt it would declare her son dead. (Technically it wouldn't, since it appears that the woman could opt out and refuse to accept brain death, and that would be her prerogative.) I must admit that it made me rather sad to watch because, imho, your little boy is gone. If you really want to keep him on the life support machines, that's up to you, but at the same time, you're really doing it for yourself, not for your son. It's a touchy and delicate situation, but sometimes, I think that you have to let people go. And if parts of your body can help someone else live, even if just for a few years longer, I say go for it. [Note: Edited to reflect the fact that it was a son, not a daughter.]

I have admittedly not registered myself on donor lists or anything (I'm a bit unsure about what to do when I'm in Japan... does it really matter, since I don't have any family around to approve? Even with approval, would they or could they accept donor organs from a non-citizen? For that matter, what if I just died on vacation somewhere? How does that mesh with the WHO rules? I have no idea...), although I have had discussions about it with my mother. (It wasn't a heavy, deep discussion... it just literally came up in conversation one day, and we laughed about it, but she was also serious, so I take her at her word.) My mother said that if she ever becomes brain dead or slips into a vegetative state, I'm supposed to let her go and donate whatever the hell anyone wants. (My mother is rather matter-of-fact about death. I'm reminded of a time in which my father was musing about where he'd want to get buried, my mother immediately responded, "Oh, don't worry about that. I'm cremating you and scattering your ashes," to which my father looked rather flummoxed (this was obviously the first that he had heard of it). He didn't complain, though, so I'm assuming he's okay with it.)

In short, it's an interesting debate to watch. We'll see what happens.

UPDATE: Surprise! Plan A passed in the first house by a rather wide margin. We'll see how it does in the second house.

UPDATE #2: Plan A passed the second house in mid-July. Hurray! Now if we can only get families to agree to donate...

This Weekend

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:08:47 GMT

I had a pretty good weekend to combat recent work/life stress. On Saturday, johnabe took me to see "Terminator Salvation" (just known as the more logical "Terminator 4" in Japan). It was my first ever Terminator movie, and you know what? I quite liked it. It has lots of fun action and explosions and some pretty amazing shots (there's a helicopter crash in the beginning that I thought was really well done... it really DID remind me of being in my mom's SUV when it flipped, only, obviously, longer). Plus, it has MARCUS WRIGHT (played by Sam Worthington), who was totally awesome and I loved him like an awesomely awesome thing. Anyway, for some non-spoiler fun, the credits to the movie turned out to be accidentally hilarious:

1. One poor actor was accidentally credited as "Soilder". I loled pretty hard. Go go proofreading skillz!

2. At the very end, when they had the "Special Thanks" part of the credits, there was one line that went something like this: "Special Thanks to the Department of Defense and the U.S. Air Force, but especially to the Department of Defense."

No seriously, it mentioned the DOD twice. I couldn't stop laughing. I imagine a meeting with the producers and the guys from the DOD went something like this:

Producer: ...and, of course, we will make sure to credit both you and the Air Force for your cooperation...
DOD: But we're responsible for the Air Force.
Producer: Um, yes, but the planes are actually being flown by the Air Force, so...
DOD: Well, sure, you have to thank them... but it's thanks to us that the Air Force even exists! So you need to, you know, thank us double.
Producer: Oh, well. I guess we could...
DOD: Can you print our name in big letters?
Producer: I suppose...
DOD: Or make it flash or something? Like, one of those scrolling thingamabobs?
Producer: Er...
DOD #2: What about sparkle font?
DOD: Oooooo...
Producer: ...We'll just thank you twice.

One of my friends invited me to a little livehouse on Sunday night. Her boyfriend is acting as the temporary bassist for this comedic three person rock band. Their music was actually pretty good, and they were also very funny as well. They had songs called things like "My name is Bacteria Man" and "Draemon Ash" (a play on famous cartoon "Doraemon" and rock group "Dragon Ash"). Their lyrics were by turns humorous, surreal, and weird, and I quite liked it. I think my favorite song was one that mainly consisted of instrumental music while the lead singer/guitarist Sugawara-san (I've met him a couple of times) talked, giving a short setup to a joke (about current events, politics, whatever) that lead up to a killer punchline. But after Sugawara-san made a few good jokes, he forced the drummer, Endo, to take a turn, and his joke went like this:

Endo: You know, you hear people talking about all of the horrible things happening to modern Japan, but I don't think people talk about Japanese eating habits a lot. You know, more and more people are cutting back on rice, and they're eating more and more bread (pan in Japanese). And to me, that's the real PANdemic.
Audience: ............
Endo: [attempt to hide behind drums]

I laughed. It was a pretty entertaining show. ^_^

"Spin around. Ninjas!"

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:41:58 GMT

This has been making its way around the internets, but I just hate to think that anyone would miss the hilarity. Disclaimer: I love Bonnie Tyler's song "Total Eclipse of the Heart". It's one of those big epic over-the-top rock ballads. Little Minako-chan used to turn it up on the radio and watch the video on MTV, that's how much I liked the song. Having said that, the video makes no freaking sense. It's honestly just mind-bogglingly weird. There's fencers and shirtless schoolboys and a very literal take on the lyrics "Turn around bright eyes". It's just SO weird.

Which is why the LITERAL version of the video, in which the original lyrics are replaced by descriptions of the video, is so good. I weep with laughter every time I see this video.

The Original Version

The Literal Version

In conclusion, it's still a great song, but the video, wtf?

And here is your May update...

Sun, 24 May 2009 08:59:04 GMT

I saw him again! As I mentioned twice before, there's an awesome guy at my gym. And today, while walking around in Shinjuku, I think I saw him again! Okay, so I was walking along, and I saw this person from the back. At first, I thought it was a middle-aged woman, but the outfit... yellow turtleneck, yellow socks, Birkenstocks, and teeny TEENY khaki shorts that not only displayed rather significant amounts of ass cleavage, but also appeared to be giving the world's most painful-looking wedgie. As this person also had long hair tied into a side ponytail (with a hairband attached to a giant pink flower) and was also carrying a purse that (although I wasn't close enough to see the entire pattern) would have likely worked as a purse for My Little Pony or Care Bears, I assumed that said person was a woman. But then, as said person turned a corner, I caught a glimpse of this person's profile, and there was a rather significant beard. I couldn't tell for sure if it was actually gym guy, but I'd be rather frightened if there was more than one of him hanging around Shinjuku.

Some videos I should mention... There's a commercial for Combat (a cockroach insecticide) that never fails to make me howl with laughter:

You can watch the YouTube version (bigger but low quality) or you can visit the web site (teeny but high quality). Long story short, it's got the Johnny's-related idol group Butokan doing a very idol version of this insecticide commercial, and it ends with a very dramatic, "Gokuburi (cockroach), to the heaven." Seriously, I WEEP with laughter.

Also, http://www.dothetest.co.uk/ has a new version of their awareness videos. The original one "Basketball" is still incredible, but the new version "Whodunnit?" is equally pretty awesome.

Finally, my parents are currently in Hawaii visiting relatives, and they went to my cousin's graduation. Now, Hawaiian graduations are always celebrated by giving the graduate leis. Basically everyone the graduate knows sends a lei, so every graduate can end with piles of flowers. (Even I, when I graduated in Colorado, ended up with two fresh flower leis and a ribbon lei from relatives.) Monday is Memorial Day in the US. (For non-Americans, this is the day for commemorating soldiers who died in battle. A separate day, Veterans Day, is set aside for other veterans.) In honor of Memorial Day, a large veterans cemetary in Punchbowl (Honolulu) asked for donated leis, as they cover each grave in a lei. They needed 50,000 leis. They apparently now have too many leis, but they're still collecting anyway. My mom said that at my cousin's graduation, they had a box near the exit. Anyone who wanted to donate the leis after the pictures and all were over could drop the leis off in the box. Sounds amazing... I'd like to see that.

OH MY GOD

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 12:07:19 GMT

I literally ran from my dinner when I heard the news so that I could post this as quickly as possible:

SMAP's Kusanagai Tsuyoshi was arrested for public indecency after apparently getting drunk and running around a public park naked.

I shouldn't laugh at someone getting arrested, but I find this to be absolutely hysterical. I'm in tears with laughter after hearing this news. This is the definition of LOLz.

On the minus side, this is Japan, not the States or Britain or somewhere (where this would just be a hilarious story to tell interviewers), and Tsuyoshi-kun's not just a normal celebrity, he's a JOHNNY'S, and therefore technically an idol, and therefore this looks like it's going to be a HUGE deal. There's already been an official statement from Johnny's stating that Tsuyoshi-kun has been temporarily suspended, no indication yet of when he'll be let back in. OH THE DRAMA.

Touched Y/N?

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:38:14 GMT

Okay, I've got to ask because I've heard about it on other people's blogs and on news sites and even from my freaking parents... Susan Boyle. Am I seriously the only one who didn't start weeping and having a life changing experience upon hearing her sing? I mean, she's a good singer, and if she were at my karaoke night, I'd cheer nice and loud. But it wasn't exactly the best performance of "I Dreamed a Dream" that I'd ever heard, and I wasn't that impressed, and I certainly wasn't anywhere near tears. (Then again, I was also never impressed by Paul Potts two years ago, either.) It makes me wonder if maybe I'm cold-hearted (although I cry at half of the movies I see), or if maybe I'm some sort of elitist music snob (always a possiblity). So, have a poll!

View Poll: It's like a poll you'd write in middle school:

In other news of a video that DID get me choked up, I watched the latest "Harry Potter & tHBP" trailer, and I was doing fine until the end of the trailer when they showed obviously end-of-the-movie Snape scenes, and I started getting teary-eyed. It's just [SNIFF!] all so very sad, and I will likely blubber like a baby at the end of the movie. July 17th in Japan, gotta mark my calendar!!

Three Video Games and a Movie

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 09:12:20 GMT

Holy cow, I'm exhausted. The filming today took no time at all, but I still spent half of the day in either a car or train, so I chugged a very sugary latte in an attempt to wake up. (Note: Backfired big time. Caffeine is a total crap shoot with me: I'm either insanely wired for the next 6 hours, or I immediately want to curl into a ball and go to sleep. Guess what happened. >_<) Anyway, the video was pretty hysterical; it involved me 10 seconds of me pretending to take money from an ATM, and then getting into a tug-of-war fight with my co-worker Miokawa-san (dressed in all black and looking hysterically suspicious) over my bag. It was pretty awesome. After some debate over when I should shriek and how long we should wait until Miokawa-san started attacking, we got it done pretty much in one take, so I went back to work. (Well, I took the train for an hour and THEN got to work.) But luckily, I had plenty to keep me occupied! And with that, here are my three big video game news items (because good things come in threes):

Final Fantasy VII (PS3/PSP). They just brought this out on the Japanese Playstation Store, so I was able to download the game. Now I can play it on the go with my PSP (as I did today), or at home on my PS3 (note: FFVII on a large high-definition TV is HYSTERICALLY overkill; each pixel is like the size of my thumb). I played it during my long travel time today, so I just got Tifa in my team and we're about to go off to take down Tower 5. It's pretty darned awesome, and I'm totally excited to get further along so that I can just run around and level-slut on my commute. Good times!
Final Fantasy XIII. FFVII:AC comes out on Blu-ray on... Wednesday? Thursday? In any case, I've got a copy on reserve with the FFXIII demo, and I'm totally excited. It looks very very purdy and lots of fun and it's going to be pretty hysterical to play it back-to-back with FFVII. ^_^
Valkyria Chronicles. I had been interested in it when it first came out, and then I forgot about it, but recently I picked it up due to a recommendation from kinomakoto. And, well, I adore it. It's a turn-based RPG strategy game with surprisingly little actually strategy required (lol). Essentially all you need to do is accomplish your goal (normally a capture-the-flag type deal), but you're mainly graded on speed. You can get bonus points for killing leaders and tanks and getting aces and all that, but your main points come from your rank in the battle, and your rank seems to mainly depend on how fast you capture the flag. So while you have five classes of soldiers and a tank, essentially all you really need is about two good soldiers to carve a straight line through the enemies and get to the flag as quickly as possible. And to be entirely honest, plowing through the enemies while attacking like a mad-woman, completely ignoring defense, and focusing solely on the end goal is how I normally play strategy games, so this is a perfect match for me. Add in the beautiful artwork made to look like painting instead of CG and the somewhat hysterical storyline (as Mako-chan described it to me, "It's set in Gallia, a neutral country stuck between warring NotRussia/Germany and NotBritishEmpire. (By location, it would be Poland, but it acts like Switzerland and the people are Austrians. Large plotpoints center on Edelweiss.)"), I really love the game. Two thumbs up so far!

In non-video game related entertainment news, johnabe dragged me to "Frost/Nixon" totally against my will, and would you believe it, it was an awesome movie. I thought it would be rather dry and dull, but instead it's suspenseful and exciting, and despite the fact that it's based on true history, you still spend the movie on the edge of your seat. "It's the final interview... will Frost get a leg up over Nixon!? I just don't KNOW!" It was suprisingly good. Recommended!

This is not in my job description!

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 00:31:14 GMT

Apparently, I get to play "frightened businesswoman A" in a promotional video that we're shooting for someone's security camera product on Monday. I'll be pretending to take money out of an ATM, when Something Scary comes up behind me, and I scream in fright. Seriously. >_< SO HORRIFIC. I don't know know if there's some sort of "after" scene, in which I happily withdraw money from an ATM with said security camera; said scene would presumably involve me happily waving a stack of 10,000 yen bills in the air with glee. "No one can steal from me now that there's a SECURITY CAMERA!!"

Reading with Minako-chan 2009

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 04:03:21 GMT

This actually marks my third year of trying to read more on my commute, and it still seems to be working! Hurray!

(1) Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
This book is the first of three Christmas gifts from my sisters. A small (teeny) collection of Sedaris essays and stories, this collection suffered the ups and downs of most collections. While the more biographical (or at least "biographical") stories were quite strong, filled with humor and holiday spirit, the pure fiction stories ranged from simply weak to slightly off-putting, generally not funny at all. However, this holiday themed collection is bound to have at least one story that someone will enjoy, making it a pretty good holiday gift for someone. Maybe not a collection that you'd buy for yourself, but a good gift to buy someone else.

(2) The 47th Samurai by Stephen Hunter
First thing's first: this book was NOT my fault! One of my sisters got it for me for Christmas, and I think we can all be glad that I can't remember which one, because this book is HORRID like a horrible thing. Basically, it's about a white, aging American country boy who goes to Japan in order to Become a Samurai (which involves a combination of Japanese samurai movies, daily meals in a local sushi shop, and zero attempts to learn the language... c'mon expats in Japan or people who have friends obsessed with Japanese culture. Tell me that you not only know this guy, but probably want to beat his head in, too). But as it turns out, White Guy is JUST what Japan needs to solve a mystery involving porn, yakuza, and a Shinsengumi sword! After the literary equivalent of a movie montage sequence ala Team America World Police, our hero becomes a sword master, rallies the troops (who were paralyzed with the inability to take action; if ONLY a renegade American could show up to blast through their conservative culture and save them all!!1!eleventy!), fights samurai-obsessed yakuza mano-a-mano, and saves the little Japanese girl from rape so that she can live a happy new life in America. I am NOT even shitting you. I was raging throughout most of the book. And those are only the biggest, most insulting problems. I haven't even gotten into the bad writing, flat characterization, borderline racism, or the fact that most of the major Japanese characters were named things like Philip, Al, Nick, Susan, or Jonathan. It's utterly bizarre, completely unrealistic, and even rather insulting. A book by and for Japan fetish-ists! Otherwise, avoid it like the plague.

(3) The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
When a mysterious man kills a family, only the baby gets away. A ghost couple adopts the baby and raises him as Nobody Owens, but the killer's still out there, waiting. I quite enjoyed the fantastical world, the view of death, and (of course) Silas. (I [heart!] Silas!) I... no, I actually liked Nobody, but it's slightly weird when the ultimate happy ending for a book would be, "And then the little boy died and lived in the graveyard with his friends and family for the rest of eternity. HURRAY!" Which brings me to the biggest question: Who exactly was the book written for? The structure (with clearly defined chapters, each chapter containing its very own plot arc) seems to be perfect for little kids. (Like, the structure is perfect as a "read one chapter and then go to bed" type of book.) However, I can't imagine many parents letting their kids read such grisly subject matter. Although it's not really explicit, the story does contain implied murder and death, knives and weaponry, monsters and general creepiness. With subject matter a bit too intense for young readers, but language and structure a bit too young for older readers, it's a bit hard to tell who it's for. Still, I enjoyed it as an easy read. A kid's book written for older Gaiman fans.

(4) How To Talk to Girls by Alec Greven
If you haven't heard of it, this dating book was original written by a young boy for his elementary school, but the child-like cuteness combined with a good dose of pretentiousness and a surprising dash of good advice made this a big hit. It's possibly not worth the dough to spend on a copy for yourself, but it's a pretty funny read nonetheless. A funny little book that makes a good gift for someone.

(5) The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
This novel tells the story of three people (family) in the background of the US and the Dominican Republic. I... honestly don't know how to feel about this book; I think my overall impression would be "neutral". What I liked: the parts about the Dominican Republic and Dominican culture among immigrants in the States was very interesting (although, I unfortunately now have the firm mental image that all Dominican men are cheating chauvinists, and all Dominican women get beaten up a lot, so, um...). What I didn't like: The choppiness and lack of focus. The story follows Oscar, his sister, and his mother, with a rather off-topic (but very interesting) section about Oscar's grandfather, but the individual stories don't particularly seem to relate to each other. At the end, I was desperately trying to remember what we learned about the sister, and why it was important to give her a chapter. Also, Oscar (the overweight geek) is supposed to be sympathetic (I think), but he's really not. He's actually equal parts pathetic and creepy. In the end, what did I think? Honestly, not much. Not good, not bad, just... there. Good writing with some engaging sections, but overall a bit unfocused.

((6) Confessions of a Fallen Angel by Ronan O'Brien
I bought this book based on the title, so let me get this out of the way: THE CAKE IS A LIE. Not what I thought the book would be about. It actually has nothing to do with literal fallen angels (I totally wanted to read THAT book!), and is instead about an Irish boy (and then man) who has visions of the deaths of loved ones. Sounds interesting, right? But there are a few problems: A) He only ever actually sees the deaths of, like, four people over his entire life, which makes it seem less like "OMG PSYCHIC!!" and more like "Wow, weird coincidence." B) The guy isn't particularly likable. He spirals into depressive alcoholism at several points, and it's not pretty at all. However, despite the fact that the author depicted these lows with somewhat admirable harshness, I felt that the author was still pushing the reader to think, "Oh, poor baby!" and want to protect the guy from evil "psychiatrists" and "people who want to throw away his bottles of vodka before he drowns himself". I could barely stop myself from screaming, "Pull yourself together! There's a difference between grieving and wallowing, and YOU, sir, are WALLOWING. No, actually, you're just committing suicide over an extended period of time!" (Yes, Minako-chan would make the worst guidance counselor ever.) Long story short: A somewhat underwhelming book that I couldn't really get into.

On a side note, have other people read the short story "The Veldt" by Ray Bradbury? I saw another Bradbury story mentioned somewhere, and now I have an urge to read "The Veldt" again. I actually read it for the first time when I was pretty young, like 3rd grade or so, and it's traumatized me to this day. (lol)

Daily Funny

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 04:01:26 GMT

A couple of Daily Show links so I don't lose them:

The one where Al Sharpton didn't show up, but they interviewed him anyway. Classic.
The Banana Episode. If you've seen it, you'll know why it's called that.
The Pancake-and-Sausage-on-a-Stick plus Baconnaise Lite. Come for the political commentary, stay for the gross-out food combination.

On a side note, I was thinking about it, and I realized that I'm actually quite the long-time viewer of The Daily show. I watched The Daily Show back in the day that Craig Kilborn hosted, back when their news stories tended to be gawker-esque weird stories (lots of UFO hunters and foil hats and Bigfoot) and they had classic segments like "the weekend's top grossing films, converted into lira". (Note: It depresses me to think that A) kids these days won't remember this segment, and B) kids these days probably won't remember lira.) I actually remember when Kilborn left and Jon Stewart stepped in; I was SO pissed. Here was this guy who I only knew from a failed talk show on MTV (a talk show on MTV! MTV will show anything and they cancelled his show!) taking over one of my favorite shows. He even stopped asking interview guests the infamous five questions; I nearly boycotted right there. And now look... Oh the irony.

I realize that this article about online child predators shouldn't be funny, but the beginning of the article nearly made me howl with laughter:

[The special agent, posing as a 14-year-old boy,] claimed he was into weightlifting, AC/DC and muscle magazines.

OMG, and you're wondering why people doubt that you're actually 14? Do you honestly think that the average American teenaged boy is listening to AC/DC?

White Day: The Swaggening

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 09:30:56 GMT

I apparently forgot to mention this, but last month, I was kinda stressed from work and had a day off on Feb. 11th, so I decided to make red velvet cupcakes for Valentine's Day. I'm really not a domestic type, but I'm Virgo enough that things like cleaning and baking relax me. They were slight failures (I don't have a mixer, so the frosting ended up with small lumps of cream cheese that I couldn't quite smooth out, and I didn't put enough food coloring in (liquid food coloring is nearly impossible to find in Japan, so I just added powdered red color until the batter looked vaguely bloody), so I ended up making plain chocolate cupcakes instead of red velvet). Still, they turned out well. (I assume. I made ALMOST enough for everyone in the company, male and female, but I was two cupcakes short, so I rather apologetically informed my fellow translator Horinouchi-san that neither of us were getting cake. She didn't seem to mind, but I was honestly a big upset. lol)

Anyway, today (tomorrow, technically, but it's a Saturday) is White Day, so I ended up getting swag from the guys at the office: a bag of cookies, four small chocolates (from 2 different co-workers), a little box of 4 truffles, a little box of chocolates (which my co-worker hysterically hid in a work envelope in order to hide from prying eyes), and apparently some cake from the guys in the Engineering department. \(^o^)/ Hurray! I am the winner!

(No, actually to be entirely honest, it's pretty embarrassing. I wanted to bake because I was bored and stressed; Valentine's day was really just an excuse and a good way to make sure that I didn't scarf a sheet cake by myself. Next year, I'm pooling my money with the other women to buy chocolates. If I want to bake, I'll make sure to do it on a non-reciprical-gift-giving holiday.)

ETA: Once I got home, I realized that I was slightly wrong... my hysterical coworker gave me a box of carmel cookie thingies, not chocolates (suggesting that he has better taste than I ever assumed), and the cake from the Engineering guys turned out to be 6 petit-fours that look AWESOME.

Yes, they're all strawberry themed, and although you can't tell from this angle, the middle one on the left is shaped like a swan. I AM GOING TO GET SO FAT AND HAPPY OVER THIS WEEKEND. I CHANGED MY MIND AGAIN. SCREW YOU, SHAME! I LOVE YOU, WHITE DAY.

A Tale of Two Asian Utahimes

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 12:56:35 GMT

I previously mentioned that Utada's second album is dropping soon. It comes out on March 14th in Japan and March 24th in the States. (The first single is already available.) I'm so excited about the album, however, that I completely forgot to mention the OTHER super-famous Asian singer coming out with a US album: BoA.

Yes, BoA's debut US album hits stores on March 17th. It's supposed to be a hard-hitting dance album, which admittedly makes me blink a bit, because US audiences aren't exactly known for being connoisseurs of dance albums. So far, I've heard two songs from the album: "I Did It for Love" and "Eat You Up".

I quite like "I Did It for Love", but "Eat You Up"... Is it just me, or does that song sound like it's running at half speed? It's one of the least danceable dance songs that I've ever heard. Seriously, it's kinda weird.

Adventures in bad commercials

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 03:48:18 GMT

I have to share this fruit-flavored gum commercial starring Johnny's group KAT-TUN. It never fails to make me laugh:

To translate roughly, it goes like this:

KAT-TUN looks very cool, but inside their mouthes, they're-
Ve--ry fruity!!

That's right! KAT-TUN is fruity in their mouths! I howl with laughter every single time it comes on TV. Talk about meaning getting lost in translation...

I speak Japanese goodly!

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:11:46 GMT

Long story short, I passed the Level 1 JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test)! I was busy at work and didn't really study for the test (my studying basically invoved cramming kanji on the train ride to the testing location), but I somehow squeaked a win. Hurray!

In completely (and I mean COMPLETELY) different news, does anyone remember an April Fool's joke on one of the internet gaming magazines sometime around, say 1998? They printed up a fake article about how FFVII, after being ported to the PC, would be enjoying a new port on the Atari (or something like that) taking up only 64 cartridges. They included a "movie" from the game, which was an animated gif of blocky Sephiroth killing blocky Aerith, climaxing with a single green pixel slowly bouncing away. It was horrifying funny, but I can't find it any more. (I can't even remember which online magazine it was... I believe that it changed names since then?) Does anyone remember this?

ETA: FOUND! Or, the animated gif, at least. It was ironically reposted recently. Enjoy!

http://www.gamesniped.com/2009/02/04/final-fantasy-vii-for-the-atari-2600/

I'm unfortunately having a falling out with the video game Demon's Souls. And it's not because it's too hard or frustrating or anything... it's because it's starting to scare the crap out of me. I finished the first part of the first area, which unlocked all of the other areas, and two of them scare me half to death. I was doing well with one area, killing slow, stupid zombies, but I could hear banging from the next room. "Hm, wonder what that is!", I thought to myself. The answer came quickly when three zombie doggies burst out of the room. I literally turned and sprinted all the way to the exit while screaming, "AHHHH, EVIL PUPPIES!!!". (Note: this is the exact same thing that happens when I play Resident Evil games. I hate zombie doggies!) And then another area? Is the dungeon area, making it dark, narrow, and filled with torture equipment. It's creepy enough, but what makes things worse is the fact that every so often, you can hear a man's voice calling out, "Oh god, please help me! Someone, save me!" I basically ran from that level, too. It reminded me of when I played Silent Hill 2, a task that I was only able to accomplish by playing in full daylight, with all of the curtains open, while my roommate was home. Without a roommate, I honestly don't think I'll be able to play the dungeon area. (T_T) Too scawy!

And in final news, Utada's second CD will be dropping in a few weeks. Hurray! You can check out the first single from the album here. On one hand, it's a bit too mellow for my tastes, but on the other hand, I have a tendancy to start singing it to myself at odd times, suggesting that it's surprisingly catchy. Not that I'm sure how people become famous for music these days, outside of T&A or American Idol.

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:25:31 GMT

OH HOLY CRAP, GUYS! OKURIBITO WON THE BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE OSCAR!

I loved it when I saw it, but I admittedly never expected it to win anything, especially when I kept hearing about the entries from Israel and France. Holy crap!

Yes, this means that I'm checking the Oscar results at work. Shut up.

High School Musical, Demon's Souls, and Teriyaki Boyz

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:32:36 GMT

I'm attempting to set a record for "topics that you will never ever see together in any other blog post." (^_^)v

High School Musical 3
John and I went to see the High School Musical movie in the theater on Sunday. I thought it would at least be unintentionally entertaining like past HSM movies, but it was also more intentionally entertaining than I thought it would be. Long story short, they apparently spent all of their money on big set pieces and dance boot camp. The choreography was very well done (not a single scene involved running over a golf course!!), so my dancer heart loved it. Plus, it's always fun when you can play "predict the choreography". (Like, "You know what? In this scene, I'd totally do a back roll into the splits. ...And they did it! AWESOME!") My biggest problem had to be one of the new characters, who was so annoying that I had to restrain the urge to leap into the screen and strangle him (possibly while screaming, "And cut your hair, you shaggy freak!!"). Seriously, don't even talk to me about whatshisname.

Demon's Souls
John's video game came out last week! John works for From Software, which put out the surprise hit Demon's Souls last week, so I picked it up. Look! Those wavy effects from my screaming dead soul? John did that!! I keep hearing that it's a horrendously difficult game, but it's really not that bad. I mean, I'm a HORRIBLE action gamer (I need cheats to beat all Resident Evil games, although this is partially because I jump at the drop of a hat and have a tendancy to start screaming when zombie doggies chase after me, at which point Mako-chan tends to start shouting, "You're immortal, Minako-chan! Just shoot them!"), so I was expecting to die right away, but I'm actually doing okay for the first runthrough. I've died twice so far; once I fell down a hole (I assumed that it was the right way to go, so I flung myself over the edge; whoops), and once I just accidentally ran into an enemy at the wrong time. But still! That's pretty awesome for me. I've only played about half of the first level, but I'm enjoying the game so far. Plus, you can customize your character by selecting one of 10 classes, and then using complicated Sims-esque controls to tweek your character's look. Therefore, my character Minako is a sexy, dark-skinned, white-haired holy knight. Go go Minako! (I also put away my shield so that I could just use my halberd two-handed... I'm not very good at blocking or parrying, so I'm just putting my money on strong offense to save the day. The halberd has a long reach, which can get dangerous in close quarters, but it means that I can kill things before they get within their own sword range.) I may change my mind later on, but so far, I honestly recommend it. Nothing like hacking at baddies to lower your stress.

Teriyaki Boyz
I watched the video for their song "Work That" while at the gym on Saturday, and I still can't decide what I feel about it. On one hand, it's a rather catchy song that I've had stuck in my head since then. On the other hand it's, well... See the video for yourself. Warning: Not safe for work. Or children. Or possibly your parents.

Okay, see what I mean? I vacillate between honestly insulted and genuinely amused depending on the time of day. As insulting as I find it, it's SO over the top that it starts to get pretty tongue-in-cheek funny after a while. Plus, the song is pretty catchy. I don't know. Decide for me!

View Poll: More choices than you can shake an ass at!

Though shalt not beat thy co-worker with thy water bottle.

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 10:43:15 GMT

I love my job. I really do! I will not strangle anyone over the proofreading that I'm doing!!

Okay, so my boss is still sick and will (hopefully!) come back tomorrow, which means I was asked to do the last-minute proofreading of an instruction manual before it's delivered to the client. Final check? Fine with me. A little brush up here and there, I can finish it pretty easily.

It's normally cool, but here's the thing. This manual sucks. It's seriously horrible. First of all, the DTP is a horrible experience in eye-strain city, literally using (I checked) 5.5 pt font. That's right! It's a font so small that they don't even offer it as a default option on Word! Charts use an astounding 4.5 pt font. I'm reading this crap on 150% magnification and I'm getting eye strain. 16 pages of sheer printed hell.

And that's not even getting into the actual text. Even beyond the normal spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors, we had baffling errors like +24 V split into two lines after the plus sign (?), the word "short-circuit" hyphonated and split into two lines as "short-cir-cuit" (??), and an entire page where there weren't spaces after the periods at the ends of sentences (...Seriously!?). Plus, the text was apparently a mix of reused text from a previous manual, corrections from the US office, and new text from the Japan office, leading to paragraphs full of sentences like "You should make sure the external device" or "[The wires] is necessary to be grounded." I was seriously near tears trying to get through this thing, but since I figured there wasn't enough time, I tore through it in 2-1/2 hours (for 16 pages!!) and made the most necessary changes and tried not to feel total shame at the fact that the entire troubleshooting section was worded in terms of "You should XXX."

So anyway, the writer (editor/producer, really, since he didn't actually write anything) in charge of the job came over to check how I was doing, and I was only about 11 pages in at the time. Our conversation went like this:

Co-worker: Oh, you're doing it manually. I thought you'd just run a program, you know, perform a spell check and look for missing periods.
Minako-chan: Yeah, but... When is it due, anyway?
Co-worker: Oh, originally today, but I got it pushed back to tomorrow. It's pretty bad, right? Like, the style totally changes constantly [due to the multiple sources of text].
Minako-chan: Exactly.
Co-worker: Exactly! That's why you shouldn't check the whole thing; just run spell check or whatever. If you actually tried to fix the whole thing, like, it'd take you forever! [laughing]
Minako-chan: [jaw drops]

Screw you! Screw you a lot, writer dude! It's called pride in your freaking work! I realize that no manual has "Proofread by Aino Minako-chan" scrawled in big letters across the front, but I know! And the client at least knows that it's the work from our company. If I turn in some shit with weird spacing and words hyphonated willy-nilly, then our client will just assume that we're all a bunch of freaking morons. I should further mention that this particular client is one who's kinda mad at us right now, and that this particular writer is one of the major reasons why they're mad. AND SUDDENLY I UNDERSTAND. If the text that you receive from the client sucks, you FIX it. THAT IS YOUR JOB. I have FOUGHT for translations when the clients didn't understand how bad it sounded. Because that's my JOB. My job isn't to sit here running Bablefish and Word spellchecker for Christ's sake. I'm seriously furious.

In my daily email update today, I am totally complaining to Shachou. Shachou LIKES me. (And he's currently got the flu, too, so he's probably in a pretty crappy mood.) Screw you, writer dude. If our client complains, I am totally laying the blame on you.

Dramatic tears!

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 07:19:10 GMT

Reason that I cried yesterday: I went to see Okuribito (Departures), which is the Japanese film nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars. (Fun fact: I looked at the list of Oscars nominees and discovered that I've only seen two other nominated films: The Dark Knight and Iron Man. Isn't that really sad? And this is even an Oscar year that includes movies that I'd actually want to spend money on!)

Anyway, it's a comedic story about the funeral business, or more technically, noukan, which is the traditional Japanese act of preparing the body for burial/cremation. After losing his job with an orchestra, Daigo goes back to the country and accidentally gets a job working as a noukanshi. (He thinks he's getting a job at a travel agency, due to the newspaper ad that talks about helping people with their precious departures. As it turns out, this was a misprint; it was supposed to read "helping people with their precious departed.") It's a very funny story about life and death and family, while still making me cry like a little baby. (Seriously, it was almost funny! There were points in the movie where all you could hear was people sobbing and sniffling into their hankies.) I don't know if it deserves the Oscar compared to the other films, but it is a very good, very Japanese movie. Although I must admit that it surprised me when halfway through the movie I discovered that noukan is considered horrific, dirty work. Talk about losing something in translation. I totally didn't realize that this would be an issue for anyone, which made me rethink the first half of the movie. Whoops.

Reason that I'm going to cry today: My boss came down with the flu, so I came in to work only to discover that he'll be gone for the next two days. This means that I'm now in charge of my own work (still slightly behind due to the training session last Friday), plus half of my boss's work. My coworker will likely take on the other half, although she's currently moving and therefore taking a half day today. Seriously, I'm going to cry. Get better soon, Yagi-san! We miss you!!

OMFG it's (nearly) February!?

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 09:22:11 GMT

I haven't actually made a real post recently, so here's what I've been up to for the past month.

A group of wonderful folks came to visit Japan. We shopped and went to the Winter Comiket and ate parfaits the size of my head and went to the hot springs in Hakone and wents to the Ghibli museum and had dinner with various members of the anime industry. (It was a very amazing night that involved me trying not to pass out when I discovered that I was having a conversation with a guy who worked on animation for Macross 7 and Animaniacs, and then watched a Sailor Moon director down a series of penis themed novelty drinks. Seriously, it was a weird night.) It was an action-packed, exciting New Year's for me.
Unfortunately, I was sick almost the entire time. I caught a cold, which then refused to go away due to long days, late nights, and too much talking and singing. It eventually progressed into a horrible cough that caused me to pull at least two muscles around my ribs and wake up during the night with my general inability to breath. The cold has basically gone away, but I still have a couple of coughing fits every day that sent me gasping for air. It's not been fun.
Oh, and then there was my migraine a couple days ago, which literally occurred less than a week after we exchanged all of the lights in our office for even brighter, shinier ones. I nearly brought my sunglasses out; it was pretty bad.
Work is slightly stressful in general. I had a busy but manageable schedule, carefully planned out through next Monday. Which is why I nearly had a panic attack when my boss informed me on Wednesday that that we'd be having a mini-training seminar for a new translation server system today, lasting from 10am to 5pm. Seriously, I didn't know whether I wanted to cry or strangle someone. It turned out that we finished around 3pm, but I'm still kinda stressed and behind schedule. T_T
On the plus side, I bought "Civilization Revolutions" for my PS3. It's pretty fun, actually, and I've been having a good time blasting through the games. And although I haven't bought anything yet, I've downloaded a couple of pretty awesome mini-games from the PS3 store. I'll probably end up buying them one day when I get bored; "The Last Guy" is loads of fun when you're in the mood to save the citizens of Tokyo from evil roaming aliens.
Oh, also on the plus side, the latest trailer for "Final Fantasy 13" just came out, and I'm extremely excited about it. I'll definitely be picking up the demo that comes with Advent Children on Blu Ray, so I guess I'll get to see some of it for myself in a few months! Doki doki!!

OH FUCK NO

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 03:52:28 GMT

Apparently, Keanu Reeves has been cast as Spike Spiegel in the Hollywood "Cowboy Bebop" movie.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. I'M IN HELL.

First Leo gets his filthy paws all over Akira, and now THIS!? [whimper]

Reading with Minako-chan 2008: Fiiiive Gooooolden Boooooooks!

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 04:36:38 GMT

Merry Christmas! I'm currently at work, eating my Christmas subway sandwich and drinking my Christmas white chocolate mocha. Yeah, I kinda hate Christmas in Japan. But this will likely be my last post of 2008, so I thought I'd better post these book reviews before I completely forget! I hit a stumbling block in my reading this year. Long story short, I tried to start a couple of duds in a row, so I finally gave up and started rereading old favorites or playing games on my cell phone during my commute. Hopefully 2009 will give me better luck with reading!

(20) The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
AKA The book that made me want to cry a little. Long story short, fundamentalist Christian extremists take over the U.S. (blaming mass assassinations on Islamic terrorists) and return to "traditional" values where women stay at home and men-folk rule and anyone who disagrees (homosexuals; former abortion clinic doctors; Quakers, Baptists, Jews, and any other opposing religious worshippers) is sentanced to death. The book deals mainly with feminist themes and a satirical look at totalitarianism, but long story short, I thought the book was a very good read with issues that personally hit home for me. A must-read book that made me want to cry, but in a good way.

(21) China Lake by Meg Gardiner
AKA The book that was ALSO (ironically enough) about militant Christian extremists. Probably like many other readers, I decided to pick it up after a glowing recommendation from Stephen King. On one hand, she has some interesting characters, flights of humor, and the actual thriller plot is surprisingly interesting. On the other hand, her books suffer from the same things that many thrillers suffer from: flip-flop characterizations and a massive case of the stupids. Thrillers tend to add "plot twists" by making a good guy suddenly turn out to be a bad guy or vice versa, and Gardiner unfortunately uses these flip-flop characters to heave the plot along without fully exploring WHY anyone would act against their inherent beliefs. One of the good guys doesn't become a bad guy per say, but he does suddenly become an asshole halfway through the book. I mean, honestly mean and extremely spiteful to an extent that I would have punched him out and thrown in my luck with the crazy cult. And while I'm unfortunately used to the protagonist having a case of the stupids, I honestly wonder if Gardiner has it in for the police. Every single last law enforcement officer that the protagonist meets is SO close-minded and so REMARKABLY dense that it's amazing they can manage to put their pants on in the morning. They all have a tendancy to add 1 + 1 and get "apple fritter". Despite the fact that both the protagonist and her boyfriend are apparently trained lawyers, the freakish idiocy displayed by the law is so insane that the only explanation is a massive chip on Gardiner's shoulder. Finally, although I can't blame this 100% on the author, the book is only 5 years old and already seems dated. One big plot point comes when the protagonist finds out what this "botox" stuff is and is completely horrified. Her reaction to the cosmetic applications of botox is so shocked that it almost made me laugh; I can't understand why anyone would use botox, either, but the protagonist's reaction was practically Victorian. Despite everything, I will admit that it's honestly better written (in terms of writing, if not plot) than your standard cheesy thriller, so if that's the sort of genre you enjoy, I'd suggest checking it out. Not my taste, but a decent choice for people who like thrillers.

(22) Superpowers by David J. Schwartz
Long story short, five college kids wake up and discover they have superpowers. To be quite honest, if I had to sum up the novel in one word, it would be "pedantic". It's not a bad novel by any means, but it's also extremely by-the-book. All of the powers (super-strength! super-speed! flight! invisibility! telepathy!) are about the most unimaginative and stereotypical powers that you could possibly imagine for a team of five. I think that the situation (normal people suddenly gain super powers! OMG, what to do!?!?) is supposed to be revolutionary, but it's only new if the last comic book you read was a 1940's era Superman. There are some small hints of true originality, but it's lost in the oatmeal-shaded blah. To be honest, I couldn't quite tell if this was supposed to be a clever, "new" type of superhero book written by someone who's never read a superhero book, or if it was supposed to be a parody that just fell very VERY flat. Decent writing helps save an otherwise mundane superhero tale. Good for a quick read if you're bored.

(23) Chocolat by Joanne Harris
If you've seen the movie, you know the basic plot, but if not, a wandering chocolatier and her daughter descend upon a drab, conservative French town and bring joy and color to the town with their sinful chocolate-y ways. If you've seen the movie, the book is much as you'd expect: some characters are expanded on or simplified or combined into one, the evil priest from the book is changed into the evil politician in the movie. However, there are several other key differences. First, the book actually alternates POV between the protagonist and antagonist. While this never makes the antagonist completely sympathetic, it does allow you to gain a far better understanding of his state of mind. Second, there are a few key differences to the plot that make the book surprisingly less fluffy than the fairy tale of the movie. I think that I actually enjoyed the Hollywood ending better, but that's possibly only because I saw the movie first. A sweet, but faintly bitter and dark little treat with a touch of... I can't think of any more chocolate references. You get the idea.

(Bonus B) The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon
The premise sounded fun: in this What if? universe, a Jewish state was established, not in the Middle East, but in Alaska. But the lease is up, and the future of the Jews living in the frozen north is up in the air. Meanwhile, a detective tries to solve a mysterious murder. Now it sounded fun and playful and all that, but I forgot one important thing: I don't like crime thrillers. They always SOUND awesome, and I always THINK that I'll like them, but then I actually READ them and I get bored right away. I lasted about three chapters of this before I just couldn't stand it any more. Seriously people, I was near tears with boredom. Possibly good for fans of noir detective stories. I should really stop reading books when I know that I dislike the genre. ^_^;

Although I won't review them, I've also spent time rereading Naomi Novik's Temeraire series (still fun), World War Z by Max Brooks (seriously awesome), and Good Omens (just as funny as I remembered). Hope every has good holidays, and I'll see you in 2009!

Two sad but true stories from work

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 08:40:36 GMT

This happened sometime last week.

Kanda-san: Excuse me, has anyone seen the computer that we keep here? We're missing a computer.
Satou-san: Please tell me that he's talking about a laptop.
Kanda-san: There used to be a Windows PC, right here!
Minako-chan: (????)

Apparently someone took it home with them. To get some work done. Without asking anyone. It was weird.

I was doing a proofreading job with no Japanese text to fall back on. From what I can tell, a Japanese company wrote the previous English-language catalog, and our company was supposed to create a new catalog based on the old one. Therefore, there was honestly NO Japanese text available. Perhaps the biggest sign of Japanese-English came from katakana words that were hysterically not written into English correctly (such as "dorill" instead of "drill" or the constant use of "magneto", which made me want to say, "I seriously doubt that your product includes a high-powered Magneto.").

Anyway, there was one part in the catalog under flags and banners where they listed one product as "Paul (for burner)". I had no idea what it meant, but I assumed that it was the name of one of their flags, so I didn't think about it. Today I was doing the second check, and I nearly killed myself laughing when I realized what they were trying to say:

Paul (for burner) = バーナー用ポール = Pole (for banner)

Yes, they were just selling a pole that you could hang your flag or banner on. Seriously, HILARITY. I nearly killed myself trying not to laugh hysterically. And this, people, this is why you hire me.

Silver linings

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 04:07:11 GMT

I know that it's totally not polite to laugh at people's economic woes, but this AP photo that I saw on Yahoo News today made me laugh. I have never seen a face so full of economic woe in my life. It's pretty awesome.

It's okay, dude. Darkest before the dawn, and all that jazz.